Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving in Phoenix, AZ has been different than any other Thanksgiving I've celebrated in my lifetime. Though I'm told it's 20 degrees cooler than the average, the sunshine and blooming bushes seem surreal. I'm used to cooler Thanksgivings--snow or rain forecasted and a lot of good food. Maybe I wasn't in the mood to eat today. I didn't even have a piece of pie even though it was offered.

Thanksgiving is more than food. It's more about family and fellowship. This is the first Thanksgiving on record we have spent with my husband's family. I don't think anyone took pictures either. No one wanted to play games with me either. I don't understand that. Thanksgiving dinner was always followed by a fun game of some sort and then we had pie. I guess different families have different traditions. I have to let go and let that be okay. Regardless, I'm glad my husband got to spend time with his family for once.

Realistically, today may have been the last Thanksgiving dinner we get to share with my husband's mom. We came down because she had surgery to remove cancer from her bladder. She is doing better, however, she is not well. Her health has deteriorated significantly since I last saw her in July. I want my husband to enjoy time with his family. They do not come to visit us, and we rarely get to Phoenix.

Now I'm sitting in a quiet motel room. I'm supposed to be studying, but the article I want is not available via the internet, and I don't know where to look for it. I guess I'll just sit here and ponder all the reasons I have to be thankful this year.

Blessings to you all,
the PTSD Widow

November--Already

Wow! It's hard to believe that November is already over half-way gone. I know where the time has gone, so I'm not even going to ask. I've been busy studying, cleaning and driving the boys all over. Life has been too busy!

My husband has been sick, and now that he's getting better, his mother's sick!

Life is so fragile and fickle. Just when you think you've got it together, something happens to throw things for a loop! My only consolation is that God is still God. His love is perfect, and His plan is for so much more than I can imagine. Lately, I've been having to remind myself of God's love because I've been feeling worthless and that I can't do anything right. In my head, I know this is not true, but emotions are not always truthful.

I'm glad my faith does not rest with my emotions. I'm glad God understands my emotions and doesn't play my games. He loves me regardless.

I feel like I am rambling, so I'll close for now.

the PTSD Widow