Greetings! I've decided that working is hard work! I'm thankful for my husband and my home. Last night I came home to a nice home-cooked meal and a relatively clean house. My boys are wonderful! (Granted--I don't hear the bickering and whatnot that happens before I walk in the door.)
I miss my family. I have to continue looking for higher paying jobs because this wage just isn't enough. The Lord will have to provide for us because I feel like I'm doing a terrible job of it right now. My body is complaining too, but that's another post.
I want to experience the fruit of the Spirit. I want to walk in it. The other night I was considering joy, and I realized that everytime I thought I was joyful it wasn't true joy. I was merely happy. It took a little while, but as circumstances changed and life situations became more difficult to deal with my "joy" began to deflate. A slow leak--I call it. It wasn't joy at all. It was happiness. It was circumstancial.
Joy is permanent. The joy of the Lord is permanent. I want that kind of joy--the kind that cannot be taken from me no matter what I'm facing.
Blessings to you,
the PTSD Widow
Friday, January 22, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Something to Ponder
Wow! I like my new job, but I feel like I'm really moving away from my kids. I'm gone for most of the day, and I have very little energy when I get home. I love my boys and my husband, and I truly miss them.
This is only the end of week one, so my body is adjusting. I hope things will begin to look up--I have to get healthy and fit this year. Hopefully this job will be one of the ways I can be more active. I need to do this so I have more energy for my own children and my husband. I'm too young to act so old!
Oh, and one other thing? I realized that I often have great ideas for other people--such as, "You should do something little for your husband." Or, "Why don't you make them a card?" I've decided to carry a little notebook to write each suggestion I speak and apply it to my own life. Maybe I'll begin to weigh my words, or perhaps my husband and children will benefit from my own advice to people.
Blessings,
the PTSD Widow
This is only the end of week one, so my body is adjusting. I hope things will begin to look up--I have to get healthy and fit this year. Hopefully this job will be one of the ways I can be more active. I need to do this so I have more energy for my own children and my husband. I'm too young to act so old!
Oh, and one other thing? I realized that I often have great ideas for other people--such as, "You should do something little for your husband." Or, "Why don't you make them a card?" I've decided to carry a little notebook to write each suggestion I speak and apply it to my own life. Maybe I'll begin to weigh my words, or perhaps my husband and children will benefit from my own advice to people.
Blessings,
the PTSD Widow
Friday, January 1, 2010
New...
A brand new calendar signals a brand new year. A new haircut and a new job begins a new season in our household. I must admit that I am looking forward to 2010. There is so much to accomplish and so many new friends to make. I can't wait!
I am anxious to see how and what God does for us--not that He hasn't already been at work. I can't help but feel that there's something big for me to accomplish in this year. I have to believe that there is a school program waiting for me or something--I have to believe that I am worth something to someone. I have already given up so much. The real lesson is that there is more to be given and that none of it is mine to begin with. I want to believe that God has new lessons for me to learn and new ways for me to grow closer to Him.
To be honest, I'm scared spitless about my husband's health. There's nothing I can do for a man who won't take his medicine as directed by a physician or exercise as he's been encouraged to do. He finally shaved tonight--he claims he forgets to shave. I guess I forget things too.
I'm really tired and emotional tonight, so before I write something that sounds totally off the wall and stupid I should just go to bed.
Happy New Year!
Blessings,
the PTSD Widow
I am anxious to see how and what God does for us--not that He hasn't already been at work. I can't help but feel that there's something big for me to accomplish in this year. I have to believe that there is a school program waiting for me or something--I have to believe that I am worth something to someone. I have already given up so much. The real lesson is that there is more to be given and that none of it is mine to begin with. I want to believe that God has new lessons for me to learn and new ways for me to grow closer to Him.
To be honest, I'm scared spitless about my husband's health. There's nothing I can do for a man who won't take his medicine as directed by a physician or exercise as he's been encouraged to do. He finally shaved tonight--he claims he forgets to shave. I guess I forget things too.
I'm really tired and emotional tonight, so before I write something that sounds totally off the wall and stupid I should just go to bed.
Happy New Year!
Blessings,
the PTSD Widow
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